December 2023 – Exploring M/s and Sexuality

happy holidays and kink

so far i think that i really am on to something. Master’s slave does get more ‘maintenance’ when He is in Daddy mode BUT also … more orgasms and play time!! ;)

it may not have been my first choice (not that that matters) but Master certainly seems more at ease and happier since making the relationship dynamic switch to more of a DD/lg type vibe. i say ‘type’ because i don’t age regress and He is not called Daddy – ever. well, occasionally i tease that He’s my sugar Daddy or Big Daddy but that’s not exactly the same thing, is it?

in my mind’s eye i really do envision a bunny, small, sassy and carefree but still a rabbit, not a girl. it may be because i do have a very high prey/primal aspect to my submission but also because i had an absolutely horrendous relationship with my father. but anywho …

He’s had this sitting in the fridge since yesterday – right there between the pickles and the mustard!! lol not sure if He’s ever going to do anything with it or if it’s just there to tease and torment a rabbit beyond all reason!!

my arse is pretty sore and i think He’s made use of one implement or another pretty much every day of holidays! that reminds me … skin care is VERY important if you are going to play this much, this often and this hard on an ongoing basis!! i’ll write more on this in the new year.

He also decided to tap at the bottom of my feet with the cane this morning! *gulp* haven’t done that in some time but i do remember it could bring me to the verge of orgasm just with that!! and the fact that you could feel it for days afterwards with every step … well, a masochist’s christmas wishes come true! lol

hope your holidays are going well my kinky friends! ❤ n

Master’s needs

Master is in ‘Daddy mode’ – i wasn’t really ready for Daddy mode BUT if that’s what Master wants/needs than that’s where i’ll go, too.

now – i just need to figure out how to get there! LoL i guess my little story was right on the money yesterday.

the good news about Daddy mode is that i normally get more ‘maintenance’ to keep my sassy little bunny self from going off the rails! *raspberries*

i do wish He had said something earlier, it would have helped me to start transitioning from one place to another sooner – before the slave started to wonder and think. slavegirl wonderings usually end up in a deep rabbit hole that i don’t enjoy and can take a while to come back from.

when ‘slave’ is not having needs met then the warrior starts to peak out, my dominant side can take over and the whole thing becomes quite the mess! to say trying to wrangle Her back into a submissive state can be challenging is probably the understatement of the year! fortunately – i was not there. not anywhere near there but is is something we have learned over the years!

i know many people have different play partners to help fulfill all the various aspects of their dominance or submission. i know it can be hard for one person to hit each and every one of the needs BUT that’s what we have chosen to do and aside from some hiccups along the way – it works well.

i’m not saying it isn’t challenging at times and i’m not saying it’s always sunshine and roses (or for me whips and thorns!) but it is what we want and it is what we need. in the end that’s all that matters! besides, if it was easy it probably wouldn’t be worth while *smiles*

NOW i need to put my sassy pants on – start poking at the E-vile Bear and see what kind of trouble i can stir up! it is christmas time after all – what should i wish for from Santa?!? lol

i’m not here to write about just the fun sexy stuff we do, i’m here to think things through (that’s what writing does for me) and to keep motivated. making a few connections along the way will be nice too!

apologies if it gets confusing – if you have questions because my thoughts are scattered, feel free to ask. that’s the whole point of writing it out for others to see anyway, to get a bit more in touch with the community. and maaaybeee a bit of my exhibitionist side coming out … lol

❤ n

humiliated and horny!

** i’ve been going down the rabbit hole of ‘serious’ as of late and this is not where i want my head. not that M/s isn’t serious, i just want to focus on me and Master and not on ghosts of the past, as a new friend mentioned. ironically – here is a story from the past to bring me back to the present!! *wink*

Master came home today to a very wound up horny slut! still cruisin’ in my ‘small space’ i tend to me more playful but also whiny and wanting in a more overt sort of way! He LOVES it of course, all the attention i’m trying to get is attention He IS getting!! UGH

being in Daddy mode makes Him more in tune with my needy, emotional side i think and so He realized pretty quickly that i NEEDED a maintenance spanking! He says that His Master side would gladly do them as well but frankly i don’t think i’ve ever had a maintenance spanking when we are deep into our M/s dynamic. there is no need i suppose since i’m constantly being pushed into subspace by other means. humm ….

anyway …. He has finally found a way to give me maintenance without being too loud since we are not alone in the house. some background noise outside the bedroom and a spanking tool we got some time ago seem to do the trick. and may i just say OUCH!!

He pulled my dress up over my ass, He began to spank me in a rhythmic way that allowed the pain to build up slowly and so i could handle more of His care and guidance – and He spanked me thoroughly!!

i have two very even very red and now very sore circles on my butt! my mind and energy are so much calmer now and i feel more balanced over all. i’m very thankful Master Daddy was able to find a way that works!

i asked Him if this meant we can now do maintenance spankings and He said yes – i asked how often and He said it depends on my energy and His, maybe every other day!!! *gulp* i hope He changes His mind eventually but that’s probably a good starting schedule i must admit. something harsh to get me squarely where i need to be in my head, then maybe He can consider spreading them out a bit.

a little later, since i was terribly horny and feeling terribly brave, with my heart and mind at peace after His spanking, i climbed up on His lap, one leg on either side and started moving my pussy back and forth over His cock. i can’t feel a thing naturally because of this chastity belt so all i did was frustrate myself more!! :O UGH

Master had a cure/torture idea for that and He decided to insert His finger into my already open and waiting hole! damn belt leaves my hole exposed and held firmly open all the time! eventually i found myself on the floor, ass up head down and Master teasing my hole and fingering me too.

over and over He made me His bitch, right there on the rug, beside the dog …. in the middle of everything with no privacy and no self-respect! a humiliated, exposed, bitch in heat on display!!

He’s gone to grab a few groceries now for the weekend dinners i have planned – i’m sitting here writing this still feeling very much exposed and at His mercy!

*sigh* happy friday, friends!!

❤ n

today’s task

** this is supposed to be my raw and uncensored site, so yes it may be a bit more than what you are used to on the companion site. this is just a place i write my wants, needs and wishes and Master sees it all and responds, even if it’s not online – SO don’t worry – He knows .. *wink*

try not to fuck things up – TOO bad! lol

i’m not feeling as bad as yesterday but then again, i haven’t actually done anything yet! the message from Master first thing is ‘take it easy today and rest’ – UGH

i’m not good at that but orders are orders – i think He has kept me from taking myself out many times over the years! *chuckle* i’m stressing out over Christmas as well – i hate holidays and gatherings … i’m a solitary kind of creature and these past two years have given me enough ‘socializing’ to last a lifetime!!! honestly, minus the health concerns of course – i’d rather spend the holidays in the hospital chair than celebrating …

i keep coming back to thoughts in my head of what i might need/want to get over this funk. i know what really – i have daydreams of being tied to the bed (we have 5 rings screwed to the wooden frame)

cuffed and chained, gaged and blindfolded – and some nice cane marks on my ass and maybe even stripes from the flogger on my back and legs.

a lecture, no counselling, throughout about getting out of my head – that things will be fine and i can handle all this nonsense of the holidays with the grace of a good slavegirl

that He’ll be with me the whole time and that this is our little secret escape – here when i NEED it … and then left to rest in the only way i know how. for how long? i don’t know, that’s at Master’s discretion.

what He does with me after that i don’t really care BUT i think that seeing me there naked, tied and marked by His hand …. i think He’ll come up with something!! *wink*

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

❤ n

oh yeah, i’ll be trying out the bench today *grin*

tired today

Master has given me a bit of a break because my body is once again acting up. pisses me off but what can i do, it’s the only body i have.

today i am tired – today i am this …

(still me, please no copies, saves or shares. thank you!)

some hot tub time, some Tylenol and ginger (to consume orally – you naughty domly types!) and hoping for a better tonight or tomorrow!

❤ n

early present from Master!

https://organicdailypost.com/choose-meditation-bench/

it’s coming today, it’s coming today!! *big smiles*

i love to be on my knees for Master and many times i can do it no problem. part of my chronic condition has been brought on because i am hypermobile! now, it has made for some pretty funky cirque du soleil type shit and awesome sex BUT it has also left me with early onset osteoarthritis and water on the knees! when in a flareup the pain is awful and if i try to kneel anyway i suffer the consequences for hours and days later.

i found this little tool to try and i’m excited that He has decided to get one for me *smiles* and it comes today!!! yays!

just some practical info for anyone who may also be interested or in need. i’ll hopefully have lots of time over the holidays to try it out 🙂

happy hump day, friends!

❤ n

my slave song! wink

this is why i need a Master calling the shots – because i always want more! lol

He asked me what i wanted for Xmas. whips, chains, collar, cuffs …. all the shiny things every girl wants! 😉 😉

gtg for now but i’ll be back – or my bunny brain is going to burst!

❤ n

Master’s Xmas decorating! ;)

**(this is a picture of me so please no copying, saving or sharing unless you first get Master’s permission. thank you!)

seems breakfast wasn’t enough to satisfy hunger! *wink*

Master decided that my left side shouldn’t miss out on having spots of its own 😛 He wanted to show me He can work with BOTH hands Eeek!!

He was rather ravenous – after all the time we had to wait for my body to work with me instead of against me. i was worried that He would ‘start from the beginning’ of working up intensity of our dynamic instead of continuing from where we left off

i think He did start quite a bit less intense in His mind then i but i spoke to Him about it and told Him that i still do remember my words and responsibility to speak up if and when something ‘goes wrong’. He gets to decide what to do with the information of course BUT i still do get to, no, am expected to – speak up!

He went from ‘love taps’ and baby steps to my sadistic Master fairly quickly after that – thank goodness!! i appreciate Him not wanting to push me too far too fast but my slavegirl self was starving and i know my mind – it’s ready! so for now, i’m enjoying NOT enjoying sitting down! *wink*

He took advantage of my mouth at every chance and i was quite happy to finally be on my knees for Him once more, in any capacity …. i love sitting at Hs feet, i love kneeling for His pleasure and i LOVE pleasuring Him – of course!

He took advantage of other parts too! He was obviously more than ready to claim His property and so He did. i have scratches down both sides of my back, i have more bruises than just my ass but those i can not post! 😉 i have nail marks on my breasts from where He grabbed and held me steady for His every stroke!

He made me beg, more than once – He likes to see how far He can push me, make me wait, how much He can make me beg for the release i know only He controls. i have no idea how many times He made me cum … only that He loves being the only one who has ever controlled me.

He’s quite happy to tell me so, how i please Him with my obedience. How i’m a good little slut for Him … makes me feel slightly humiliated but in a very good way! 😉 and it pushes me deeper … by the time He was done with me i was a shaking, moaning mess! my eyes rolling into the back of my head, words no longer forthcoming, only grunts.

subspace – and then some! He holds me afterward, curls up with me and holds me tight until my senses start to find their way back to Him. my body normally shakes and shivers from the cold of coming down. i always come to covered in a warm blanket and held tightly.

‘Welcome back, beautiful! Are you alright?‘

yes Master, better than alright, thank you!

‘Me too.’

happy monday, friends!

❤ n

PSA (slave shenanigans)

be careful when you say to your sadistic Master ‘is that all you got?!?’, even if it is in a cheeky, sassy sort of way! *smirk*

He will find a wooden spatula and take your jammies down, right in the middle of the kitchen, and spank your ass – even if you are trying to get some breakfast! ;P

once He lets you push the bread down for toast you will be ordered on your knees to ‘thank Him’ properly until the toast pops – why did i set it so long??? LoL

the best part is when He lets you up to butter your toast but at the same time bends you over at the counter and fucks you from behind! smacking into your already sore bottom! *ouchie*

yeah, i need to practice trying to butter and bend over at the same time! LMAO the toast didn’t end well but Master’s grin was worth the effort – as always!

boring? not here *wink*

a rainy sunday morning but the smiles are bright and laughter rings through the house!

❤ n

the spot

not sure what to write today but i know i need to write something – it keeps me grounded and helps focus my energy to my slave self

i can tell i’m already falling into it, that slavespace in my head that takes over – the space that makes all more pleasant! – the space where i find balance and peace

i think i’m also in a bit of frenzy because i made a rookie mistake! :O yesterday’s kneeling was to have pins on my nips but also on the tender parts! *YIKES* yes, the bits He likes to tease and torture! i guess that was enough to have me all flustered when i attached those nasty little buggers ….

i forgot that He had also ordered that ball gag this time, He likes the idea of having me there, sitting in a puddle of my own making ….. in more ways than one! Eeek! the entire time i sat and waiting for the alarm to go off – it wasn’t until after that i remembered.

SHIT!! i forgot the gag – i can’t not comply, i don’t think i could live with myself, never mind a punishment, i just couldn’t do it. so i grabbed the gag, felt ridiculous and sheepish, and i started the timer – again – UGH

if you’ve ever used these nasty things you already know that the taking them off is worse than the putting on or wearing. the longer they are on, the more they hurt! so lesson learned!! *shakes head*

so to the spot, it’s a spot on my right butt cheek, a spot where i still feel His touch every time i lean against something or take a moment to sit. there are more spots still of course but this ONE spot stands out from the rest. He’s right handed *smiles* that’s what comes to mind.

i don’t know if it’s by accident (okay, let’s be real, it’s not! LoL) but i seem to lean up on things and always find – that – one – spot

it should be a good weekend! – apologies for the jumbled mess of thoughts! *wink* now i need to get to work, Master’s house won’t clean itself!!

TGIF ❤ n