in this space you will find that i write all in lower case except when i speak of Sir, here i will also refer to Him as Master. *smiles* so …
we have been evolving in our relationship and added M/s to our dynamic in order to try to get deeper into our connection. it has worked very well! when we can manage to maintain it that is … ugh
we were hot and heavy for a good long time until i had to be away due to W’s medical condition. that was about 5 weeks this last time but we have been home since the new year. we did try to get back to our intense dynamic by being very present and intentional about our time together and even time apart. i had (have i suppose) many rules and rituals that needed to be followed during the day including wearing a slim fit chastity belt! something i NEVER thought i’d be okay with – let alone crave!!! *Eeek* but it is true.
** not exactly this one but very similar. this one is from Etsy and much cheaper than the Fancy Steel ones. i’ve added the link as a caption 😉 incase anyone else wants to try this ‘torture’ *wink*
Customizable Chastity Belt for Women With Variety of Plug – Etsy Canada
long story short, the last couple of months i have been without my belt. i have not enjoyed my freedom at all! UGH i had asked Master to take it off for one day/night because i was having some physical issues that made it impossible to wear without major discomfort, not the expected kinky kind.
i don’t know why He does this, why He takes one small hiccup and then backs off completely instead of just getting back to business once the asked for respite has finished. He has the tools at His disposal but He will often neglect to use them. Well more precisely, when things are a bit off and we have a hiccup …. when we are deep into our connection and into our roles He has no problem picking up where we had to leave off. this only happens when i am already struggling to stay in my preferred mindset.
it makes it frustrating and causes me to really lose myself. i’m not saying He doesn’t try some ‘things’ to get me back, i guess my view is that He just doesn’t stay consistent LONG enough to work. i’m a tough nut to crack – what can i say 😛
so today i decided to put it on, after my morning rush of work. there is no rule about putting the belt on by myself without directed orders, there is only a rule about taking it off. it instantly made my sex drive take notice but possibly MORE importantly it made my slave instincts start to wake. *smiles*
when i’m in this space i feel more calm, more committed and more at rest EVEN THOUGH my days are actually quite a bit busier because all i think about is what i should do next to please Master! well not ALL i think about *wink* but all i can safely explain without getting shut down!! lol
so i’m off to get started on my chores, hope He starts to engage a bit more with His Masterly side as well. i know He too is feeling off and rather lost …
❤ n
Exploring M/s and Sexuality 