fourth and final!

yesterday and today i have explored the final butt plug of Master’s recent purchases! it is also super soft, easy to wear with the chastity belt and thus far has not caused any issues – well other than the constant want and need to have Him inside me and to please Him … *sigh* but otherwise, no issues! *wink*

i am once again locked up in chastity, obviously. He hasn’t yet made me wear it through the night, or 24/7 mostly due to work and partially i’m guessing because He knows it takes me (and my skin) a little while to adjust. today is my last day of work for the summer and i’m looking forward to it! looking forward to the break but mostly looking forward to getting deep into our M/s again and finding my slutty happy place at His feet! *smiles*

friday we are away with W to a dr.’s appointment first thing in the morning. i know i won’t be wearing the belt then because it’s just not very convenient. i’m also very much in charge and in control when it comes to W’s medical needs so i think it would be an unnecessary and unhelpful venture! not sure if He’ll lock me up once we get back home or if He’ll wait!?! i guess i’ll know soon enough! lol

i try to really focus on not second guessing or pestering when we get into our roles because it’s not helpful to Him BUT it also undermines what we are trying to accomplish here. giving voice to my thoughts, feelings and desires is helpful to Master, He likes it that way. trying to force my wants onto Him is NOT!

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i find i’m ready for my place, i find i’m ready to go further …. wearing the lighter pair of cuffs at bedtime for example and YES the dreaded chastity belt! 😛 my cycle is on its way to done i believe so bedtime shouldn’t be a big deal at this point. when i’m not wearing a tampon i wear my knix panties. don’t know if you’ve ever tried them but they really are very effective!

i can wear them over top of the chastity belt when needed and they are comfortable and obviously reusable. they wash well and save both the planet and my pocket book! 😉 the only caveat is that i can’t wear an anal plug. i don’t want to chance ruining the fabric and therefor making the panties ineffective. but none of that is very kinky, is it??? lol seems it’s more of a PSA lol 😛

i was going to write about how today, in my head at least, it’s hollow butt plug day! but i got off course …. ah the scattered brain of a horny whore! *wink* i may have to try again later! *wink* and explain slutty suzy …..

❤ n

Rules and Rituals

i enjoy having rituals in my day, it helps to maintain an even, level amount of submissive energy to keep me focused and balanced in my slave mind. M/s rituals are more for me at this time than they are for Master. He is at work all day while i have a good portion of my day to take care of my household duties and anything else that might come up. ritualizing some of that helps me stay in the zone! lol

Master isn’t here to see what my day entails and so He doesn’t really have any opinion as to how i should go about it. i believe He would enjoy ritualizing some of my day but He just hasn’t been focused on that, He has other things to worry about.

i know that …. *wink* so i have begun adding some rituals of my own. it’s nothing He wouldn’t approve of – it’s just small actions that put me in the right mindset and there are no rules about NOT trying to maintain a good slave attitude!! lol

the first and easiest is of course wearing the chastity belt. Master hasn’t made it a 24/7 thing just yet partially because we are working up to it (i think) and partially because the last few days have been my monthly cycle. makes things a bit difficult when my flow is very heavy!! (sorry boys if you didn’t want to hear that) *smirk* it goes with the territory! once things slow down i can wear it and just ‘wash’ when needed. it’s all stainless steel so it washes/cleans easily if there happens to be any spotting.

the second thing i have started doing is ritualizing the cleaning/tidying of the Master bedroom. it’s the only place currently that i have complete privacy so i am taking full advantage. We’ll see if Master makes a standing rule out of it … !?!?

once upon a time that domestic service was performed naked in a collar, cuffs, chastity belt, anal plug and pins on nipples. i didn’t use a plug today because He didn’t order one and because i am dealing with lots of cramping *UGH* i left that out. i – have – started ritualizing the entering of the bedroom and stripping down of my clothing.

i enter the room and close the door behind me. i don’t go further until all my clothes have been removed, folded neatly and placed on the floor in front of the door. once that is done i add the above mentioned jewelry and accessories and carry on with my work. i am also actively trying to slow down ….. i’m normally on at top speed, if i don’t slow down this chore it’s over almost before i’ve even had time to register and sink into my slave mindset.

once finished the ritual is done in reverse and i leave the room. nipples are sore and my neck a bit warm from the large leather collar but i’m normally more balance and ready. *smiles*

it’s not a spanking and it’s not fun with the cane BUT it is a daily act that with the right focus helps me maintain my happy place!

❤ n

Exploring new worlds

at the beginning of my journey into BDSM and D/s i never would have considered something like chastity, at least not my understanding of it anyway! flash forward and here we are, we’ve actually been building up to this point for, well i guess about two years now.

at first it was just playing around with the belt for a few hours, then days …. over a weekend for example, just to get a good feel for what we liked, what we didn’t, what worked (even if my little slutty self got pouty! lol) and what we NEVER needed to test out again! 😛 for now at least, lots of stuff we enjoy now we never would have been in the right place mentally and emotionally to enjoy then. so – never say never, i suppose!

the irony of the whole thing is that when practicing chastity we/i actually have more sex!! i get hornier, feel more sexy, more desired and more willing to engage with Him, without having to be coaxed or wooed for a lack of a better way to state it. i just throw my slutty self His way and see what He desires from me. normally He desires a LOT more than He likely would have done alone … if that makes sense?!?

i started this yesterday but didn’t have time to finish it …. looks like two posts today!!

❤ n

day 2 – new anal plugs

last night was a bit off, well okay a lot off! i really just wasn’t feeling well and very tired too! this cold is taking it’s toll on me and i have also discovered that i have been dealing with endometriosis for years!! that too leaves me exhausted some days and i think last night was one of those days.

the chastity belt, anal plugs and any other kinky toy was kept in the drawer! this morning however is another story! *grin*

Master has ordered the chastity belt back on and in addition i will chose a second of the new plugs to explore! :O

this one i find is a bit more difficult to use, not because it pinches or anything but because it doesn’t want to stay in place!! lol you can see that the end of the plug is slightly narrowed compared to the body but it seems it is not enough of a difference to kind of ‘seal’ things up in place! *blush* it’s rather humiliating and so just prefect to write about!!

humiliation play is a BIG part of my masochism and of what really gets my slave mind going. the last year had seen us venture into emotional masochism as well as the physical. i found it was a good bridge between what i craved and what we were able to do due to lack of privacy and well, medical issues!!

anyway, upwards and onwards into the world of Master/slave – again!

one thing Master had me doing was tidying up His bedroom wearing a larger collar, belt and pins on my nipples. i did that again today with the new plug as well and it really helped my mindset. as of now i’m locked up, plugged and ready to take on my day!

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Anticipation!

so many questions, so many thoughts – soooo many wants!! *yikes*

it’s been a long time since i’ve experienced any sort of frenzy but f*%k i think i’m there again …. :O it’s been a while since we’ve played or kinked things up – much – but with my summer break quickly approaching, well ….. i’m starting to get more and more kink on the brain and less and less vanilla!

Master ordered some toys as well! that’s just adding to my frenzy … *Eeek* we wanted some butt plugs that could be worn with the chastity belt that wouldn’t cause any issues. i found that the metal or glass ones will pinch your tender bits of skin between them and the metal of the anal hole in the belt! *ouch* and NOT the good kind. lol we were forced to go without the belt for many days due to the injury, and even then i couldn’t really wear it to bed without backtracking on the healing process.

i enjoy wearing the belt for kinky reasons of course but besides the obvious it also ramps up my sexuality and libido. it ramps up my feeling of submission and wanting to be a good slave, and not only in the kinky sort of way but also on a personal, introspective humble sort of way.

it leaves me calm and centered and feeling like i finally know where i belong. this is why i’ve chosen to try out chastity and also why i think Master enjoys the outcome so much. it puts us both in a peaceful happy place.

now, if He could just start using it more regularly and consistently …. *ugh* i’ve been under the weather and also very mentally busy ‘people-ing’. i always find that exhausting and i think He doesn’t want to add to my plate, the irony of course is that being His slut and slave *IS* my respite from the rest.

of course He likely doesn’t want to rush into doing too much, too quickly since we are just getting things back on track again – BUT – my frenzied mind isn’t focused on that part!! 😛

as of now i’m locked up and testing out one of the new silicone plugs with a soft ring on the end instead of any ‘base’. it came in a pack of 3 and so far the first one is working out perfectly. walking, standing or sitting … nothing seems to rub and pinch in a way that is not wanted.

it is making me horny as hell – that part i have mixed emotions about! 😛

i’m going to have to remember all my early training if i want to get through this without getting frenzied out and ending my ass up black and blue!! without any orgasms as reward! 😛

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Exploring sexuality and chastity

Master has been making it a point of ordering me into the chastity belt for the last 2 days. i was afraid He wasn’t going to today but He simply took His time …. oh the torment of having to be patient as a submissive! 😛

when i have the chastity belt on i find that my libido always takes notice and my submissive mind settles in. it’s a comfort to me and it makes it easier to concentrate on the tasks that need doing. sounds backwards i suppose since my naughty imagination is in full force but some how it happens.

this thing makes me feel like His slutty little whore, and as such i have the drive to do and be better!

❤ n

chastity our way

Photo by Alina Kurson on Pexels.com

for months Master and i were in an ‘anal only’ relationship. just because i was in chastity and in orgasm denial didn’t mean that Master had to abstain! *smirk*

as our dynamic got more intense so too did the frequency of sex. Master made use of my other holes almost daily and most times the chastity belt stayed on!! our slimfit version has a hole in the back for relieving oneself and for anal play. Master likes to play …. *wink*

it was understood then that should He choose to take the belt off my pussy would be used as a source of lube only, no gratification was to be given to His slut.

i was VERY deep into subspace those days and in truth i crave to be back there again. not sure if subspace is the correct term for it was a 24/7 state for months. *yummy* i longed to have an orgasm but i longed to be His servant even more so. occasionally He would give me a clitoral orgasm but normally orgasms, if granted, which was rare would be anal induced.

i wanted to be no vaginal contact during that time period but i’m pretty certain that the lack of clitoral stimulation or orgasm would have eventually backfired. i’ve gone months before with no orgasm or vaginal stimulation and my sex drive died completely! it was outside of a kinky dynamic and so the overall emotional feel was different but i do know my body and mind pretty well. i am willing to bet that if He had gone the route of no pussy contact i would have been spent emotionally before we ever even really started!

just a little detail so that our dynamic may be better understood. chastity yes, complete lack of sex, no!

❤ n

All locked up again!

Master has me all locked up again and i’m enjoying my torment greatly!!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

my head is quickly going back into the right mindset and my body is quickly remembering what to do and how i liked to be touched! *wink*

sexy juices are starting to flow and my sex drive is definitely waking up! it’s good to feel like His slut once more.

❤ n