** this is supposed to be my raw and uncensored site, so yes it may be a bit more than what you are used to on the companion site. this is just a place i write my wants, needs and wishes and Master sees it all and responds, even if it’s not online – SO don’t worry – He knows .. *wink*
try not to fuck things up – TOO bad! lol
i’m not feeling as bad as yesterday but then again, i haven’t actually done anything yet! the message from Master first thing is ‘take it easy today and rest’ – UGH
i’m not good at that but orders are orders – i think He has kept me from taking myself out many times over the years! *chuckle* i’m stressing out over Christmas as well – i hate holidays and gatherings … i’m a solitary kind of creature and these past two years have given me enough ‘socializing’ to last a lifetime!!! honestly, minus the health concerns of course – i’d rather spend the holidays in the hospital chair than celebrating …
i keep coming back to thoughts in my head of what i might need/want to get over this funk. i know what really – i have daydreams of being tied to the bed (we have 5 rings screwed to the wooden frame)
cuffed and chained, gaged and blindfolded – and some nice cane marks on my ass and maybe even stripes from the flogger on my back and legs.
a lecture, no counselling, throughout about getting out of my head – that things will be fine and i can handle all this nonsense of the holidays with the grace of a good slavegirl
that He’ll be with me the whole time and that this is our little secret escape – here when i NEED it … and then left to rest in the only way i know how. for how long? i don’t know, that’s at Master’s discretion.
what He does with me after that i don’t really care BUT i think that seeing me there naked, tied and marked by His hand …. i think He’ll come up with something!! *wink*
❤ n
oh yeah, i’ll be trying out the bench today *grin*
Exploring M/s and Sexuality 