being useful!

this morning Master decided to make use of His slave! i like being useful, i like when He uses me without any thought or concern for what i want …

(of course this is all discussed before entering such a relationship so the illusion is there but the reality still stands. i have a voice, i AM not only allowed to use it but encouraged to use it. but this part isn’t kinky and doesn’t fall in line with my want to be objectified so it gets left out of the kinky conversation in my head … just fyi *wink*) now back to our program ….

He’s been taking it easy on me because of my chronic issues but i much prefer it when He doesn’t! *smirk* once a kinky, objectified masochist – always one – i suppose.

my body doesn’t feel any better but my mind does. i miss the days when a morning romp was almost a given, when He used my body at will and did all sorts of e-vile, sadistic things – almost daily, as well. the irony was that i was locked up in chastity 24/7 and we had way more sex than when i’m not!

we’re a bit out of practice i guess OR perhaps just a bit farther away from our path than we we thought, it may be a slightly longer trip back to our preferred trail to walk. one foot in front of the other …..

i found the chastity belt just put me in the right frame of mind, 24/7, to maintain the energy and therefore kinkiness.

just a smaller, more discrete version of this i suppose – to me at least. it was a constant state of being restrained and bound without Master having to do much – honestly. the e-vile sadistic dialogue existed mostly in my head …

it always slipped out into the pages of writing i was doing then and eventually fueled the M/s fire to keep going. Master takes over from there and so the game continues! (NO it’s not a game, what we do, that’s just an expression.)

i was asked a while back if i had a favourite toy. i haven’t written on that because as much as i try, i can’t think of one. i don’t really like ‘toys’, i like devices of torture! LMAO if i had a favourite it would probably be the chastity belt.

it’s a love/hate – well mainly love *wink* relationship – it keeps me in a constant state of slavespace, it keeps me focused on our dynamic and it keeps me ‘calm’ in my mind which of course translates in one form or another to my body.

sorry old friend, but i can’t do 98/2 – it’s just not enough. once opening the pandora’s box of constant, almost unending slavespace – to one degree or another – i can’t just fall back. it’s always in the background, certainly, but i need it more in the front of things to be content.

YES, Master has His work cut out for Him. i’ve always said He’s special, no one else i’ve ever met could keep up with my type of insanity … i guess that’s why it’s always been M/s for me, not D/s.

the end

❤ n